You may or may not have noticed that I have been pretty quiet the last few days and I have spent some time beating myself up about it . That little voice in my head was telling me that I need to be consistent, be posting things all the time , everyone will wonder what is happening etc. But luckily there is also a knowing that I needed to step away and revitalise.
As everyone does, I am juggling lots of things at the moment with some of those things having multiple balls or being very heavy – they have taken a bit out of me as I can’t be juggling everything all the time. Once upon a time I would have just pushed through and kept juggling as I didn’t want to let anyone down or felt obliged to follow through with everything at the expense of myself. But not this time, I decided on Thursday that I could put some of the balls down for a little while (including posts on facebook) and that would allow me to be less tired and more present to myself and those around me. It also made it easier to keep the high priority balls in the air.
I also attended a fabulous workshop on the weekend and something that jumped out at me was the question of ‘who says?’ Who says that I have to stay up past midnight marking assignments? Who says I have to go to the social event that I am too tired to attend? Who says that i have to do things in a particular way? Who says that I am wasting time lazing on the couch watching trashy tv? Who says that art therapy must look a particular way? Who says that I have to wear particular clothes? Who says I can’t be myself all the time?
Who says? Who says? Who says?
Well somehow messages are ingrained in our brain and we live by all these supposed rules. We are bombarded with messages of how things are supposed to be all our lives – from family, teachers, magazines, peers, bosses, partners, books, billboards, tv, the list goes on . We then believe all those messages and we make ourselves wrong when we chose something else.
What I want to say to that is – stuff it. Stuff the ‘rules’ that restrict us and make us tell ourselves that we are less for being individual or doing things in a different way. I want everyone to consider what messages you tell yourself and how your life is because of those ‘rules’.
It has taken a long time for me to realise that I need to break my own rule that I don’t have to work so so hard, that sometimes I just need to pause a few things, regroup and revitalise so that I can do what I do. And now that I have done that, facebook posts will continue, A-Z will resume tomorrow (up to letter i) with the best thing being I feel on top of the world again and the whole world didn’t come crashing down.
I hope this week is not restricted by the rules you tell yourself and that you have a great one!